Dating Diaries #2

I was feeling sorry for myself; watching tv, eating ice cream out of the container, my dogs in the "sit" position staring at me cocking their heads from side to side, when I get a text from M (single dad, think I kinda like him, etc.) He says "How are you doing?" I waited quite some time to respond - not because I play headgames but because I didn't know what to say. My defense mechanisms are so strong lately that honestly my first response to the weekend's events (Or, lack of events) is to just call it quits where we are. That's how I won't get hurt, right? Basically the text messages go back and forth:

"How are you doing?"
"Good, how are you?"
"Good, just leaving the office. was _______ all day" (privacy issues folks, you understand)
"I was under the impression we had plans tonight..."
"I knew we had talked about it but didn't know we had confirmed. I'm sorry. It's been a crazy busy weekend with ____."

This is where I laid out all the cards..."I have had my heartbroken and in both situations, the red flags were inconsistencies. My defense mechanisms are telling me to call it as I see it" (or something to that effect)

Long story short (too late!) he likes me, he wants to see where this can go...blah blah blah. So, I will see where it can go, knowing full-well that Aaron, Jason the Dentist and Tony all showed inconsistencies in the beginning and all ended in heart break of some sort. Not to mention the fact that when I am 'dating' someone and not interested, I am all about being inconsistent!

He is traveling for work this week. I wont get my hopes up but maybe we will see each other this weekend. Lauren's boyfriend is in town this weekend, I would like to give them some space and privacy. :) And, I have ulterior motives.

Kids are wonderful; Tyler is still all "puffed up" from Agility class yesterday. I love that little bug so much. Mom says I need to actually write a letter to Misha; hence the title of my blog. We will see. I started a memoir of sorts, in memory (is that redundant?) of her, and can't go back to it without crying. In fact, when we were in the Ozarks, mom and I were sitting in the living room (with...our view of the lake, Uh huh, that's the way we roll) talking about how to write a memoir, I pulled up my laptop and actually started reading her some of what I have begun for Misha and couldn't finish the sentence I started. Very difficult to deal with still.

So, I'm pretty much inundated with training for my new position. There is so much to learn. It's difficult to stay focused sometimes. I realize I am so blessed to be at a company I love, with people I love and doing something that challenges me.

Sarah H called me last night - someone had heartlessly dumped a kitten in her neighborhood. She wanted me to find a home for it. Thank GOD I am allergic to cats. I put my feelers out there but she ended up finding a home for it herself! Yay!! Another one to a good home! Makes me very sad for the rest of the litter, and the heartless and cruel people who own the mother. Wonder what kind of life she is living that the people see her offspring as disposable.

Ooooh yeah - went to Tommy and Bibi's Friday night for a SCRUMPTUOUS dinner. I love being close to them. I love that we are so chill; our relationship is so mellow. Tommy called as I was walking to the bus stop after work and extended the invitation to have dinner with them. I learned Lauren would be home that evening (certainly dont want the kids going all day AND all night without someone home), went over there around 7 and stayed for several hours. Dinner was yummy, conversation was chill and funny, and Grace is SO FUCKING GORGEOUS I LOVE HER SOOOO MUCH. I was sitting on the love seat, Grace pulled her little peanut butt up there, straddled me, looked at me, and laid her head on me. I will cherish that moment forever.

Thanks for reading.